Dave... update...

I was absolutely completely miserable the way things "ended" or whatever you call them with Dave. I never ever want to feel that way in my life again. It was so strong I feel it sometimes out of the blue (maybe cause I was used to it?).

All I know is that as of right now I am happy again. Dave and I talk, we hang out... we actually have more fun than we used to (like in the beginning) and I feel that both of us are being very open with eachother - basically he's talking more :)

And the things that he is saying would make anyones heart melt from someone they are in love with. This "break" or "break up" or whatever was good... released pressure and stress on both of us, and made him realize some things.

I believe (without taking 100% of the blame at all... maybe not even 45%) that I definately pushed Dave too much in the way of "Where is this going, what are we doing, kids no kids, marriage no marriage I need to know now!" Which is A LOT of pressure on someone who is dealing with their dumb ass baby's mama, losing their job, unhappy with their weight, and constantly worried about home repairs. HOWEVER, at this point in life it is something I have and need to think about. It was a lot of pressure for him but can I just point out that I lost my grandfather, Chicago announced he's getting married, Chicago's bro announced he's getting married, Teri announced her engagement, my best friend of 50 years Melissa is getting married... I mean thats a lot of pressure on me too.

So anyway - a great big thank you and hugs to the people who supported me through this. I know everyone wants to give me their cliches and tell me to move on and I deserve better and maybe I do. But I am just not ready to give up on Dave and I. There is something very special there. He is absolutely the love of my life. How can I just walk away from this? Isn't this teaching me to deal? I am an only child after all ;)




Thank you friends! I love you all!